20 lbs down

I've been goign to Strollerfit for 1 whole year. This is my anniversary for starting. I'm so amazed that I'm still going. I never stick with things this long. But the program is so great. Amelia is really starting to benefit from it. Which is wonder to see.

But, I'm also doing Weight Watchers too. The WW part isn't so bad. For me, its all about learning how to eat. Portion control, better choices. That's why I did this. Well, to loose weight too, but I really wanted to learn how to make better choices.

For Amelia, I make WONDERFUL chocies, but I didn't want her to ask me (4 years down the line), "Mommy, why do I have grapes for a snack and you get a bowl of ice cream?" I just want her to think of me as a healthy person. And between Strollerfit -- learning to be active, and WW -- learning good food choices.

Now if I can keep up the momentum, and get down to my goal weight, things will be GREAT!

I know life goes on but...

I wish I could go back. I love my life right now. I am married to a wonderful guy, my daughter is beautiful and bright and adds so much to our lives, but right now I'm missing my dad more than anything.

I would give anything to go back four years to talk to my dad, to do something to help him, to do something.

It was a Sunday, and I called home and got him. He asked me when I was coming home (I had just moved in with Rob). I said that I was going to come by the next day. He passed away that next morning. He didn't get to walk me down the aisle, he didn't get to meet Amelia. There are so many things that I would love to do again.

I guess the only thing I can do I remember him and tell the stories about him to Amelia. Show her his pictures and convey how much we all love him. Because we will always love him.

I miss you dad. Watch over us and keep us all safe and healthy.

Saturday -- WI

So, I weighed in at WW, and I was so worried. I felt like I was pretty good all week. SO I went and WI, and I was exactly the same. I have to say I was little depressed. I am glad I didn't gain, but I really wished I lost. (don't we all).

I only went to Strollerfit 3 times last week and this week I am going to go 4 days. I am going to be good. I'm going to stay strong. I keep imagining myself at my goal weight, and you would think that would be enough motivation to keep me going, but then ... we eat out and I just can't say no. Nancy Reagan never knew how hard it is to say no to Cheesesteak. :-)

Sleep .. It IS that important

Last night, Amelia woke up at 12:30. She was ready to play and sing. I think the cold that she has woke her up, but then the coffee ice cream that Rob gave her, definitely KEPT her up.

We were so tired, and I think deep down she was tired too, but wanted to run around (yes we have a walker). We tried so many things, with the last being a bath at 2:30 in the morning. I then lubed her up with camomile and lavender lotion. I think finally that helped soothe her and she finally fell asleep around 3:00.

Then all day she, daddy and mommy we tired. Daddy went to bed at 8:30, I'm up finishing a few things. Hopefully she'll sleep through the night tonight. That was by the WORST night of her life. It is crazy how much you rely on sleep, the amount of sleep, and 'sleeping straight through the night'.

It has to be better.

Yea for WW

Well, Saturday I went for my 2nd weigh in (WI) and I was down 5.5 lbs. Yea, for ww. It is actually working. No, I dont' notice any difference in anything. I don't feel lighter, I don't notice my clothes feeling any differently. I'm hoping for another big loss next week. Last week I only went to Strollerfit twice, so this week, I plan on going each day. So hopefully that will contribute to loosing.

I have two big parties coming up and I would love to have a noticable loss for them. I know I should think "slow and steady wins the race", but I want people to say "Hey, did you loose some weight?????" How great is that?

Well, speaking of slow and steady, last night, Rob was upstairs and I went outside to do soemthing. When I came in, I couldn't find Amelia. I called up to Rob and he said that she was up there, and asked if I brought her up there. I said no. Amelia climbed the stairs all by herself. (Made mommy and daddy very nervous). now we definitely need to put up the gate. She has no fears, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not!!! HAHA

Weight Watchers

So, I've started Weight Watchers (WW). Tomorrow I go for my 2nd weigh-in. The first one was not good. I was up 1 lb. I was a little disappointed because of that. But I kept going. Tomorrow I go again. Hopefully it will be better. Hopefully I've lost SOME weight. Hopefully the weight will come right off. I know the body changes so much while you're PG, but hopefully it doesn't hold onto the weight for good.

I am hoping that I can start changing my habits so that way, down the road I dont' need to do the whole 'meeting' thing. That's the whole philosophy behind WW. You learn how to make better choices. I'll let you know how I do.

too much information

IS BAD!!!!!!

I know that it really isn't. But lately, I've really been thinking about adding to our family, and Rob isn't so on board. I know that there are a few issues that aren't ideal right now, and I can accept that, but what I can't accept is him sending me articles that (in my brain) would convince me to start yesterday.

Today's article???? "Kids with older dads at higher bipolar risk"

That's right. The article states that dads over 30 have a higher risk to pass on bipolar. So, I joked with him that we should get started before he turns 31 in November. He's like, yeah right!

I just sent him an email back, saying if you don't want to do anything, stop sending me more stuff to worry about. You can't have it both ways.

When I was PG with Amelia we had the Ultrascreen done which is the nuechal fold test. I was not a risk candidate for Downs, but I had the test anyway, not knowing anything. Well it came back with bad results. (compounded by the fact that they gave me someone else's bad results). It was terrible. It turned out to be okay, but I had to goto a pediatric cardiologist, had an amniocentesis, 10 ultrasounds during the course of the pregnancy. All for a test that I wasn't really high risk for.

The moral of the story? TOO MUCH INFORMATION IS BAD. Our parents didn't have all this information, and for the most part we all turned out fine. There wasn't the autism issues, ADD, ADHD, allergies, et cetera.

For my next pregnancy, (if there is another one), I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride!

To have baby #2 or not...

When do you know that you're ready to have another baby? Is there a signal? Is there an epiphany? I'm starting to think about it. I know there are so many factors. Some of them aren't ideal right now, but some are. Is there a time that the factors are 100% ready?

Rob and I are talking about it, and the main issue is space. But is that enough of a reason to not bring another life into this world? I look at Amelia and think what if we didn't "make" her, life would be so much more dull. She brings so much in our lives that I want to have that again.

I love everything about her, and there are some days that I want to do it all over again. I know that we will have another baby, so why not now? Why wait?

I want to be pregnant on the same schedule that way if we have another girl we will have the right clothes for the right season. Doesn't that make sense? Isn't that a good reason? If I'm going to do this then we need to get going. But ... again, alas are we ready?

Labor Day Weekend

Growing up, there was always a BBQ on Labor Day weekend. It was another excuse to get together and have a party. This year, we're going to goto Rob's mom's on Monday for a visit. But other than that, no big celebration. I'm tired of being the one to host if I want to get together with people. I love getting together with people, but it seems like if I want to do that, then I'm doing all the work. I would love to goto someone else's house for a big party.

In other news, Amelia was walking more and more today. We're so excited. It was so wonderful that Rob was home to share in this. She's taken steps before, but this was full on walking. Did we get it on video? Of course not! We have so very little video taped, I really need to get on that. I always say that when I miss something. But in evitably it will happen again. That's the way life goes.

Well, Happy Labor Day weekend.

Not just a mom

Last night I went out with some great girls. The whole idea was a Mom's Night Out, but what did we end up talking about?????? Of course, the kids. I know its what we have in common, but sometimes I think that's all I have. I know there is more to me than just being a mom, but sometimes its all consuming.

Please don't misunderstand me. I LOVE my daughter and could talk about her day and night (okay maybe not the night part, sleep has become so much more precious), but I just felt like we would talk about a 'non-kid' topic and then suddenly someone would related it to the kids.

I guess that's how it is. It was the same way in H.S. I would go out with the other band members and we would vow to not talk 'band-stuff', but what did we talk about??? You got it, BAND BAND BAND!!

I guess I should just be blessed that I have child to talk about. :-)

Your body

Everyone says that your body changes so much when you're pregnant, but boy were they right.

I don't think that i eat badly, but yet I can't seem to loose weight. I work out 4 days a week, and then? Nope, still don't loose weight. I sometimes think that my body will never change. It scares me to think if I get pregnant again, THEN WHAT???? What else can happen, what else can change, how bad can it possibly get? But in the end, that is a risk that I'm willing to change. When Amelia comes up and hugs me with all her might (even at 15 months), it makes it all worth while.